In less than an hour it will be a year since I lost my wife. I have written on this subject many times over the past year. I’ve talked about my love for Diane and her love for me. I’ve talked about how we changed, repaired, and broadened each other with our mutual, unreserved affection…
I started writing Becky Bright Day and the Sword of Golgotha when Diane was still alive. Of course, when I first started writing it that wasn’t the title. At first, it was D.E. Mon inc., then Lucy and the Sword, then Upper East Side Lucy and the Sword of Golgotha, then Becky Bright Day and…
Actually, it’s my autistic brain on grief. So, I don’t want to presume anything about yours, nor should I. Grief, like autism, is different for everyone. But this is me. I’ve not spoken publicly about my life on the spectrum before so this is a first. It may come as a surprise to my readers…
There’s a bipolar aspect to grief that isn’t often talked about in mainstream circles. And while the term “Waves” is often used when describing grief, exhaustively availed in metaphor — (waves of grief crash…, the rising tide of longing…, smashed in the surf of…) — one rarely gets the most prevalent similarity to “waves”; the…
When I was young I believed in love. A hopeless romantic bruised by reality until, eventually, I put the notion away with other things from my childhood like the baseball mitt that I outgrew. You changed that. You, curious and sweet you, dug with me through that old box and found my old baseball mitt…
I can attribute many of my greatest successes to my wife, Diane. In dealing with the grief, panic attacks, and oppressive loneliness due to her passing in October, I’ve started to meditate again…on the advice of experts. Part of this nightly 10-minute meditation has centered around GRATITUDE. Finding gratitude when you are in pain is…
You fell so low inside yourself stripped of worth stripped of will stripped of dignity You found me then and found your heart beat in you beat in I beat in we From tear-drenched sleeves to hopeful trails made music made love made free The Decades they flew as our hearts did renew forged by…
Don Occam would say time rubs the flaws away from your memory, like wind and rain on old stone, so only a crystalline, smooth, perfect image remains of your lost love. And he would be right. The old bastard might have become the embodiment of rage against the universe, but after 3600 years of mourning,…
It’s been 23 days since my beautiful wife passed. That’s the longest amount of time I’ve ever gone without seeing my sweet girl, without kissing her good morning, without kissing her goodnight, without holding her hand under the covers as we went to sleep. Each day beyond this will be a new “longest time”, but…
This is my first attempt at writing in a couple of months so please forgive the rusty prose. I’m trying to find my muse and it’s harder these days. She’s still around but not at my beck and call as she once was. I have no doubt the last-ditch effort with immunotherapy sped her decline.…
When the diagnosis first comes it’s a shock. Like an unseen punch to the face that leaves your head feeling waterlogged and spinning, at least there’s hope to reach for. Not unlike a fall while rock climbing, the thin crevices and fissures that seemed too narrow to be viable suddenly seem like solid outposts of…
What? How many times a day do you say that? When I started my business in the late 90s I worked from home, alone in a condo in Fairfax Virginia. And having come from the loud and hectic world of an Internet company, having been the head of education with classrooms only feet away from…
I never believed in soulmates. I thought that was romantic nonsense and anyone who ached to meet theirs was in for a long and lonely wait with lots of really bad relationships strewn on the path behind them. I always believed that a good relationship, a fulfilling relationship, was nothing more than lots of hard…
Hi, I’m S.L. and I’m a reBrander. I had a soft release at the end of September for a novel called “Broken Betties”. The purpose of a soft release is to drive enthusiasm, gain reviews, and test the book to a broader audience than just beta readers. The book read well, and aside from a…
There is a theory that at death, not only does your energy return to the universe, but it returns with personality intact–or alternately, you return as part of the whole consciousness of the universe, aware not only of yourself, but also of every coherent personality. I find this comforting. And though there is nothing in…
I received my Christmas present early this year… Oculus Rift. I have to say I’ve been quite taken by the tool. I’m not what one would call a young man (Unless you’re knocking on the door of your 60th decade or older), but I’ve found the experience very comfortable with the exception of the roller…
It’s been a while since I posted last. I apologize. I’ve been elbows deep in a new series, trying to write while there’s a moment of peace in my life between Gretel’s treatments. And I’m sorry it’s our current state of affairs that moved me to write today… I’d much rather be talking about Don…
Merriam-Webster says of the word “Conservative” conservative adjective con·ser·va·tive \ kÉ™n-ˈsÉ™r-vÉ™-tiv \ 1 a : of or relating to a philosophy of conservatism b capitalized : of or constituting a political party professing the principles of conservatism: such as (1) : of or constituting a party of the United Kingdom advocating support of established institutions…
I’ve been asked a number of times if I listen to music when I write. Yes…but only when I’m actually typing the story. I have a process. It’s called all or nothing. I build a story concept in my head, then pull out a trusty yellow pad to sketch an outline. Nothing more than a…
Who proudly releases the long awaited conclusion to a bestselling series while the world burns? Literally burning in some places… (raises hand, with sheepish look on face). My timing is shit. I know it. No one is excited about books at the moment—-particularly books that are more than a year overdue for release. It’s okay. Honestly, a…
I know…you’ve been waiting a long time. To your credit, you’ve been patient as we navigated Gretel’s cancer treatments and have shown great support for us both. But I heard you asking for the next book. 🙂 For this release, the last in the Scott Wolfe Series, I had the largest ARC group if any…
I once served under an Ops Sergeant named Smitty—SFC D. Smith—who I always looked up to as the type of soldier I wanted be. Smitty fearlessly grabbed satchels full of explosives and tossed them over his shoulder. He walked toward the sound of gunfire, no matter the context. We could be in the middle of…
We’re getting closer every day. Splinter Self is being edited for release—developmental edits, line edits, and proofing in progress—and in the interim, the cover and first teaser book-trailer have hit the street. The momentum for this release is building slowly (“slowly” owed in large part to my long hiatus from publishing), but the excitement from…
